


Discovery

by badboy_fangirl



Category: New World (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 08:12:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10715592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboy_fangirl/pseuds/badboy_fangirl
Summary: John Smith learns of Pochantas' death.





	Discovery

Ghosts of memories, unpredictable but everlasting. Strangely, I find comfort in knowing her husband now feels as I do. She was once so attainable, but is now forever drawn from our grasp. It is not kind to think that, but I know that it was by my ambition that he came by her anyway. That knowledge most likely will eat at me until I meet the grave.

When the memories flood upon me—as drops of rain gently falling only to thunder loudly and shower down, drowning me—I revel in the quiet grasp of death. To drown in her essence, to remember her with love shining from her eyes as she ran ahead on the path, or as she stood next to me in a field, or as her body shimmered close to mine in the water only to drift away, is far better than to see the grown woman who looked upon me kindly but without the passion of the young girl. Because the reminder only brings memories of ships, and endless water and land that led to nothing…and no one. The young girl whose hand wrapped about mine, whose lips touched my face in wonder, whose very being vibrated with emotion that belonged to me…that is the girl of my dreams, what warms me in the pit of night, what allows my solace at knowing her husband must feel as empty as I do.

 _Her husband_ , those words, even thought, bring a bitter taste to my lips.

As free as any living creature who knew not its boundaries, she wound through the wilderness and into my heart as none other thing ever has. Though I searched the high seas and beyond for the discovery that I felt destined to make, nothing I could have ever found would have been as wondrous as those days and weeks with her. It was only in the not finding that I found the truth. It was only in the realization that I could see her again and perhaps feel that again, even for but a moment, that I went to her husband’s house, that I asked to see her, and now with time and distance no longer the physical issue I had placed between us was I afforded the truth. She had grown into more than I will ever become. Her kindness to me that day was not in the few words we exchanged, nor the soft touch of her eyes to mine, almost apologetic for having moved on as I had intended her to do. The kindness was watching her return to her husband’s side, kiss him sweetly, and then play upon the grass with her child. In her English clothes, in her English refinement, the girl who had frolicked at my bidding showed her child all the wonders of the Old World with all the freshness of the New.

It is in memories that we discover our purpose here. Has God directed my path? Did he send me to the New World to discover her? To discover love in its purest and rarest form? It seems I was not sent to discover the path to the Indies. Though sometimes I hear the echo of her question…<i>Did you find your Indies, John?</i>

There was something about the way she said it that made me believe it was possible.  Perhaps still, my Indies await me. The New World…the one without her in it.

 


End file.
